Week 23 Results

Overheard on AOL Instant Messenger a couple of Saturdays ago during the Clemson vs. Wake Forest game while the unfortunate David McMahan was falling asleep at work and the also unfortunate Allison Hennessey was forced to find literary criticism of one of the most hated novels ever written...

McMahan37: I've got an idea for Kevin's
page...
HarpyAl: which would you rather be trapped
with, all the characters in wuthering heights, or....
McMahan37: Which would you rather be
trapped in...a room reading Wuthering Heights
or actually being a part of Wuthering Heights?
HarpyAl: nice!!!
HarpyAl: i like that
HarpyAl: you should definitely suggest it to him

Wuthering Heights is of course the classic novel by Emily Bronte (no special characters here.) Speaking of characters, the book features Heathcliff, the bitter / misunderstood old / young man, Catherine, his love, then some other people, like Mr. Linton (Catherine's husband I think) and some other girl named Catherine, some little kid (or two) and a couple housekeepers who tell it like it is. Basically its just your classic tale of love and bitterness (don't the two go hand in hand?) stretched out over many many decades. That may seem to glaze over a lot but it's been 3 years for me and I've read Pride and Prejudice since then (its about the same things, just add money)
If you're not familiar with Wuthering Heights, why not read it on line? (yeah, right.)
Remember, even if you haven't read Wuthering Heights, that doesn't keep you from making an uninformed decision.

Name: Allison, resident expert on WH
Choice: In Wuthering Heights
Comments: This was probably the toughest one yet. I hate this book with a passion, so doing anything associated with it would be torture for me. At first, I was going to vote to be stuck reading it, so I could just burn the book, but I figure the requirement is that I actually READ the book. So I figure, as bizarre as it would be, I would rather be a part of Wuthering Heights. This way, as a part of the detestable novel, I could change things around and put my own twist in there. First, I would change people's names so there aren't 2 Catherines and 5 Lintons and so forth. Then I would mess the story around by doing things shocking for the time, like wearing pants and exposing my ankles and such. (Scandalous!) Then I would probably marry Heathcliff, to throw everyone into an uproar, and we would move to London, where we would open up our own pub where other unconventional people of the time could expose their ankles, too. Finally, I would introduce to everyone the modern concepts of ultimate frisbee, twirling flags, and ham and pineapple pizza. I think instituting all of that would keep me from going nuts being trapped in a mansion. (That's the basic story line, for those of you who don't know--they all go nuts from being trapped in a mansion.) The End. (I know, that was long, but trust me, the book is EXCRUCIATINGLY longer.)

Name: jean the mean clean pen
Choice: In Wuthering Heights
Comments: man, i loved that book. i always wanted to be a character in it. i thought, 'wow, heathcliff would be kewl to know.' and i like the idea of open hearth fires and thick pieces of home-made bread, stew simmering in a large iron pot, a weird coffin-like bed (complete with ghost figure from past), the agony and the dirth, swiping your own card behind Miss Elain's back. Oh wait, that was today...

Name: Darren
Choice: Just Reading...
Comments: Reading the book would be much less depressing than having to be around the people in it. All in all I don't like being depressed. Does that make sense anyone? It better because I said so. Next read some other depressing novels such as "Ironweed" or "Sula."

Name: Bonnie
Choice: Just Reading...
Comments: As much I didn't enjoy reading it the first time, I'd rather read it than be a part of it. I like living in the 20th century.

Name: Jean's elder sister
Choice: Just Reading...
Comments: Modern plumbing is such a boon... besides, I create enough ego-centric drama to fill several Bronte novels but then can go shop at Wal Mart and watch Ally Mc Beal to escape it.

Name: cliver
Choice: Just Reading...
Comments: ok, i just want to say that you are mean,
this is just... Mean
either choice

Name: Cleophus T. Jenkins(Taylor)
Choice: Just Reading...
Comments: Well, I REALLY do not remember Wuthering Heights, so it all would be new to me again. Anyway I can't think of anything witty, I just pissed off a couple hundred aol users, I'm all wittyied(not really a word) out. I'm pretty sure ya'll(traditional southern term meaning you all) knew that. In fact I'm pretty sure you knew that about ya'll. What was the question about again? so in conclusion I think I would have to choose ketchup. While I dont like ketchup or catsup, ketchup is clearly the better of the two.

Name: Jess
Choice: In Wuthering Heights
Comments: Even though the book stinks (it is nothing like Pride and Prejudice, one of my most favorite books) I do love that time period and think it would be interesting to live then, if only for a little while. Of course, I would have had to have money, that way I could wear all of those beautiful dresses and go around riding horses all day and going to balls, etc. But then I would get tired of it and want to come back here to Chemical Engineering. Wait, I take that back, I would much rather stay there then go back to studying Chem E. (Once again, I will state for all of you who have not read Pride an Prejudice, don't believe Kev, it is nothing like Wuthering Heights.)

Name: Kevin
Choice: In Wuthering Heights
Comments: My senior year of High School, I would always get to school early and my first class was English. Since I was usually the first one there, I would always chat with my teacher, Ms. Grigg. Well one morning I got some of the best news I ever received. I came in and she handed me a paper I had turned in a few days before. She said that this was a PERFECT paper, and she was aggravated because she had to give me a 100. She had taken it to teachers all across the English department, and it was unanimous: it was the PERFECT English paper. She wrote at the bottom, "I can find little, if anything, missing from this analysis." I was extremely flattered, and preserved the paper for boasting rights for all time. I have never been bothered since then by any English teacher's criticism. The topic of the paper: a character analysis of Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. I think it would be only appropriate if I went and personally thanked the man.